


Salvation Under My Breath

by idra



Series: The Method of Human Communication [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Only Vaguely Avengers: Age of Ultron Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idra/pseuds/idra
Summary: Steve is with Tony in London to talk with Parliament.  He meets someone who used to be important to him, then he and Tony go looking for Bucky.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a new series, for a new challenge a friend and I are doing. There will be 12 one shots that will all tie together. 
> 
> If you see anything that should be tagged that I missed? Please let me know.

Steve darts a glance over at Tony, who’s in full command of the room full of English Lords and Dukes and Ladies and Duchesses. He knows Tony is good at this sort of thing-- the handling of the rich and powerful, but it’s always a little startling to see the man he knows is focused and brilliant and a little bit eccentric be so charming and friendly to a bunch of strangers.

He offers a smile to one of the younger generation and then moves over to where he spots a man who looks suspiciously like Falsworth. “Excuse me,” he says softly, glancing at the man’s family. “Are you related to James Montgomery Falsworth?” 

“He was my father, Captain.” The man smiles. “He told many stories of you. He thought the world of you.”

“I... I’m sorry.”

“No, Captain. I’m sorry. My father was young when he died, but he had a good life. I was sixteen when he passed.” The man offers his hand. “James Montgomery Falsworth the Second, Captain. It is an honour to meet you. Father always said how great a man you are.”

Steve shakes the man’s-- James’-- hand. “It’s a pleasure you meet you. Your father... He was... He was one of the best men I knew.” 

James smiles brightly at that. “We definitely agree on that.”

“How... What happened with your dad after the war?” Steve’s read files on Dugan, Jones, Sawyer, and Morita, but he didn’t know anything about the rest of the Commandos. 

“After he worked for the SSR for a few more years, he met Mum. They got married and a year later, had my older brother, then me, then our sister. He... He was happy. But he’d gotten injured during a job for the SSR and had to retire. My sister was fourteen, my brother eighteen when he passed. His heart gave out. Mum always said it was because he had given everything to the Commandos when he was younger. I think he just missed his friends. They never come over, though we heard all about each of you.” James smiles and licks his lips. “Captain, I apologize. This is my wife, Mary and our children, James the third, Aiden, and Alicia.”

Steve turns to James’ family and smiles, dipping his head down. “It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” He focuses on the children. “Your grandfather was an amazing man. A hero.”

“Thank you for saying so, Captain,” James says. “If you’ll excuse us, we have to go meet my wife’s father. He’s a Duke.”

“I’m sorry I kept you from your obligations.” Steve shakes the man’s hand again. “Thank you for allowing me to meet you and your family.” He steps back, watching him and his family walk towards the crowd that is surrounding Tony. He finally gets Tony’s attention and gestures to let him know that he’s going outside. He breathes in deep, hating that the air isn’t nearly as fresh as he wants.

“Who was that?” 

Steve doesn’t turn at Tony’s voice, letting out a sigh instead. 

“C’mon, Cap. Who was he? You looked like he might be important.” 

“He was one of the Commandos’ sons. Falsworth.” 

“Ah.” A hand touches Steve’s shoulder and he closes his eyes. “One of your men.” 

“One of my friends. They were more than just my men, Tony. They were my friends and... I just miss them.” 

“I... I don’t know what that’s like. I’m sorry. I wish I did. I mean... I wish I could empathize with you better.”

Steve lets out a snort. “I didn’t think you meant you wished that you knew what it was like to have everyone you know die on you.”

Tony lets out a harsh breath. “Just... I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry you don’t have anyone from your past that remembers you. I know you have Aunt Peggy, but...” 

“She doesn’t remember me. Every time I visit, it’s the same thing. Her in disbelief that I’m alive, that I’m there.” Steve inhales and exhales, eyes opening. “I miss them so much, Tony.”

“Bucky’s out there, right?” 

“Somewhere. As the Winter Soldier for all I know.” 

“How about I make you this promise? I promise, we will find your Bucky and we will bring him back. Even if he’s the Winter Solider, we’ll bring Bucky back.”

Steve turns finally, looking at Tony. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“I can keep this promise, Steve. I’m already working on a program to help work through traumatic events. It will require his consent, of course, but he’ll be Bucky again, if he tries to work through it... if he wants to be Bucky again.”

Steve swallows audibly and bites at his bottom lip. “Will it really work?” 

“It has a few bugs still. But I will fix it. I will make it better. I give you my word, Steve.” 

Steve nods and leans against Tony a little. “I just want some piece of my past back the way it was.” 

“Don’t you know the secret yet?” 

“What secret?” 

“Nothing gold can stay.” 

Steve wrinkles his nose. “I know that line.” 

“It’s a poem. It was first published in 1923. It’s by Robert Frost. It’s the title of the poem and the final line.” 

Shrugging, Steve just watches Tony’s face. “I don’t think I know it.”

“ _Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf, so Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay_ ,” Tony recites, smiling slightly at the end of the poem. “I always loved that poem when I was younger; still do, when it comes to that. It’s just... Nothing can stay the same. Everything changes.” 

Steve nods, thinking over the words that Tony had quoted. “So, basically, what you’re saying is that even if we get Bucky back, not just the Winter Soldier, it won’t be the same.” 

“It _can’t_ be the same. It’s different. You’re different. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get Bucky back and still be... together.” 

Steve raises an eyebrow at that. “I just want my brother back, Tony. Bucky and I were never more.” 

“Well, yeah. But that’s ‘cause of the times. It’s different now. No one’s gonna care if you’re gay.” 

“Good to know. Except while I may be... what’s the word I heard... fluid? No. Oh. While I may be bisexual, Bucky was straight. Trust me. He knew my... lack of preference and never thought less of me, but he told me straight out that if I ever hit on him, he’d kick my ass. And he repeated that statement after the serum.” Steve smiles a little. “And while, yeah, he’s a little bit my type, Bucky is my brother. That’s all.” 

Tony raises an eyebrow. “Really? I thought... All the footage of you guys...”

“I swear, the future is so full of shit. You’re all going around saying how open minded you all are, but if a fella touches another fella, suddenly, he’s _got_ to be queer. He can’t just enjoy simple touches. Back in my day, we hugged. We touched.” Steve glares at Tony when he starts to snicker. “Not like that. Get your mind outta the gutter. We weren’t afraid to show our emotions. Nowadays it’s all “oh god, no. I can’t touch him. Someone might just think I like men, how horrible!” Why the hell does it matter anyhow, what someone’s preference is?” 

Tony laughs a little and shakes his head. “I don’t know. It shouldn’t. You’ve known you’re bi that long though?”

“Yes. I mean, it wasn’t talked about back then, but yes.” Steve raises an eyebrow. “Do you have a problem with it?” 

“No. Why would I? I mean, the men don’t get talked about as much as the women, but especially in my early days, I was all about experimentation.” Shrugging, Tony pulls back. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ve done my due diligence and talked to everyone I needed to talk to about Stark Industries. I want real food, not dry chicken. There’s a pub nearby that serves amazing food.” 

Steve smiles. “Sounds good. But... will you be okay? The alcohol?” 

“Yeah. I promise I won’t drink.” Tony smiles. 

“Let’s go.”

The next day, Tony drives them through the countryside, glancing over at Steve. “We should’ve called for back-up.” 

“I don’t want to risk him getting away, Tony. The others won’t get here in time. But...” Steve sighs and pulls out his cell, calling Sam and asking him to get Natasha and Clint and get there as soon as possible. “There.” 

“Thank you.” Tony presses the gas a little harder. “Thank God I don’t go anywhere without the briefcase suit.”

“Be careful of the metal arm. It can do a lot of damage.” Steve reaches into the backseat, grabbing the shield. “I really don’t want to hurt him, but... I won’t let us get hurt either.” 

Tony nods, checking the rearview mirror. He frowns when he sees a truck that’s been following them since London. “Steve, I don’t want to be an alarmist, but there’s a truck that’s been following us since we left.”

Steve turns to look at Tony, glancing out of the corner of his eye to try to catch the license plate or possibly a view of whoever the person behind the wheel is. He turns back towards the front and licks his lips. “Male. White. Looks to be about forty-five. Brunette. A bit heavy.” Steve closes his eyes. “No facial hair. That’s all I can tell.”

“Ah hell.” Tony pulls off to the side of the road, stopping the vehicle. He hops out of the car and heads for the truck. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Steve clambers out of the car, following Tony. He knows Tony can take care of himself, but if this guy has a weapon... He stops short when he sees the man climb out of the truck. “I’m sorry, sir. Ms. Potts said I was to follow you, no matter what. I’m to keep you out of trouble.”

“Damn it, Happy!” Tony shakes his head, then hugs the man. “You’re lucky Cap got a good look at you and was able to describe you. I thought we were gonna have trouble.”

“Sorry, sir.” Happy hugs him back, then glances at Steve. “Captain Rogers. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“You too, Mr. Hogan.” Steve reaches out, shaking Happy’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell Tony you were following us?” 

“Ms. Potts said it was best if Tony didn’t know I was here.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Well, head back to London. I’m out here on Avengers business. Plus, I have Steve at my back. I don’t need a bodyguard when I have Captain America watching me.”

Happy frowns. “Ms. Potts said...”

“Mr. Hogan? May I call you Happy?”

Happy nods, glancing at Steve again. 

“Happy, I have his back, but... We’re going up against something far more dangerous than anything you should have to deal with. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Happy sighs. “Fine. I’ll go back to London, but if you’re not back soon... I’m coming after you. JARVIS can find you.”

“You got it, Hap.” Tony pats his shoulder. “Get back in your car. Cap and I are heading off. Don’t follow us again.”

Happy nods, climbing back in his truck and turning around and heading back to the city. Tony and Steve watch him go, then they get back in their vehicle before getting back on the road. “He was your bodyguard, yeah?” 

“Bodyguard, driver, security. Happy did it all. Now he’s the Head of Security at Stark Industries. And engaged to Pepper.” 

“Your ex-girlfriend?” 

“Yeah.” Tony snorts a little. “It... It hurt when Pep and I broke up. But it made sense to me. Her reasoning’s made perfect sense. But within a week or two, I found out that Happy had asked her out. After the break up, not before. So, I was hurt even more. Six months later, I saw them together at one of the galas for the foundation. I’ve never seen Pepper so happy. And Happy... well, he looked more secure and happy than I’ve ever seen him. So, I couldn’t be anything but happy for the two of them.” Tony takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I approached them that night, gave them my blessing, and that was that. I felt better and I know they were glad to have my blessing. And now? Now I’m friends again with them both, Happy asked me for my blessing to ask Pep to marry him, and that was it.” He glances over at Steve. “I promise, I’m happy for them. I miss the companionship of having a girlfriend, but it’s not Pepper specifically I miss. It’s... having someone to come home to.” 

“I get that.” Steve reaches over, putting his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I haven’t had anyone to go home to for... well, not since my ma died, really. And I know it’s different, lover versus mother.” Steve shrugs. “But I understand how hard it is to go home to an empty house.” 

“So, you’ll move into the tower if we ever get home?” 

“Since Buck’ll need to be there, I’ll stay for as long as he needs your help.”

“Steve, you need someplace to call home. Not an apartment you hate.” 

Steve sighs. “I know. I know. I just... I don’t want you to feel like all we want you for is your money.” 

“Isn’t it though? I mean... I have money. I want to use it for the team. After all, I mean... considering how I made most of it... I want it to be used for something good.” 

Steve squeezes Tony’s shoulder, nodding a little. “Okay. If you’re sure...”

“I mean, besides, I kind of designed an entire floor for you. I didn’t really furnish it or anything; I wasn’t sure if you would want it to be old fashioned or futuristic or... none of the above.”

“I don’t know. I guess I never thought about it. S.H.I.E.L.D. just gave me the apartment, told me how much a month in rent and that was it.” Steve shrugs. “Maybe you could help me. I don’t even know where to go shopping.”

Tony glances over at him and smiles. “Yeah. Yeah, I could do that.” He pulls off the road, following a rough path to another road. “There should be a facility up ahead. Not sure what kind, but this is where Bucky was sighted last.”

Steve lets out a breath and nods, keeping focused on the road and the sides of the road. He spots movement and is leaping from the car without a word to Tony. He runs after the shadow he’d seen, sliding to a stop when he sees Bucky, standing there looking startled. “Bucky,” he breathes out. “Please, Buck. Just... We can help you. Tony Stark, he’s the best mind in the world. Smarter than Howard. He can help. I just... Please, come back with me.”

“Who are you?” 

Steve closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Steve. Steve Rogers.”

“Steve,” Bucky murmurs. “Do I know you?” 

“We grew up together. We’re best friends. You’re my brother.” 

“You were smaller,” Bucky says, frowning. “You didn’t... You were sick. All the time.” 

Steve nods. “Then the war came. You went off to war and I volunteered.”

“Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven-zero-three-eight. Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven-zero-three-eight. Barnes, James Buchanan. Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven-zero-three-eight. Barnes, James Buchanan.”

“Yes. Yes, you’re James Buchanan Barnes. You were a Sergeant in the US Army, in the 107th Infantry. You... You fell. From a train and I couldn’t reach you in time. You fell so far...” 

“They put something in me. Before I fell.”

“A modified rendition of the serum they gave me. It made you less breakable.” 

“My arm...” Bucky looks down at the metal arm, touching it. “Something happened to my arm, Stevie.” 

Steve licks his lips. “It got crushed when you fell from the train. They replaced it with the metal arm. My friend Tony can make it better.” 

Bucky looks around. “Stevie?” 

“Yeah, Buck. I’m here. I’m here.” 

“No.” Bucky looks into Steve’s eyes for the first time and shakes his head. “No. I’ve done bad things. Bad things. I’m bad. I can’t...” He shakes his head and turns on his heel, running through the words. 

“No! Bucky!” Steve runs after him, realizing quickly that his friend is outpacing him. Steve stumbles to a stop and leans against a tree. “God damn t.” 

“Whoa. Cap. Language.” 

“Fuck. Tony I had him. What happened?” 

“Memories,” Tony says, joining Steve. “Odds are talking about his arm probably triggered something. We’ll find him again. He knew you. He knew who you were.” 

“I know.” Steve nods. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Come on, Steve. Let’s head back to London. We’ll track him. I’m not sure how, but we’ll do what we can.” 

“Thank you.” Steve lets himself be pulled towards the car, head hanging as he walks through the woods.

Tony gets him in his seat, buckling his seat belt for him. “We’ll find him again, Steve. I promise you, we will find him.”

“I know.” Steve leans his head back, eyes closed. “Tony...” He pauses, taking a shaky breath in. “Do you really think we’ll get him back?” 

“I do. Come on, Steve, you know how stubborn I am. I’m never wrong, so when I say we’re getting him back, we’re getting him back.” 

Steve smiles and opens his eyes, looking over at Tony. “You’re a great man, Tony.”

“Of course I am, Steve,” Tony says, ears flushing a little.

Steve licks his lips. “Are you okay if I sleep for a minute?” 

“Sleep for as long as you need. I’ll wake you when we get to the hotel.”

Steve reaches over, squeezing Tony’s shoulder before he leans the seat back and closes his eyes again. He just hopes that Tony can really do what he thinks he can, and finds Bucky before it’s too late.


End file.
